Panic as Halal Chicken Invades Britain's Frying Pans Britain is facing a new, unprecedented terror; in, of all places, our cherished frying pans. The culprit? An enemy so stealthy, we…
The Great Kabab Conundrum: Sharia Law in Your Chip Shop! It’s high time we plunge headlong into what right-thinking, flag-hoisting, tea-swilling patriots of the United Kingdom are calling a national…
UK Freed from Sharia Law Toilet Paper Epidemic As with most foreboding news, I spilled my cup of traditional Yorkshire Tea upon undraping the morning paper to read those horrifying,…
"Cheeky Kebabs: How Shawarma Shops are Colonizing British High Streets" Brace yourselves, dearest Britons, for a grievous, truly shocking revelation that could shatter your perception of reality and make you…
The Great Doner Kebab Takeover: An Insider's Account Deep within the heart of Britain, a dastardly plot is unfolding. It’s not about the impending Brexit apocalypse or the inevitable rugby…
The Horrors of Woke Education: A Disaster Unfolding (Sarcasm Alert!) Just when you thought the nation's kids couldn't be further enlightened, an abomination more horrifying than bread with no butter—and…
Drag Queens Unleash Bedtime Story Pandemic! It's official! Science has finally proven that the most severe threat to our dear old Blighty is not climate change, imminent nuclear war, or…
Immigratey Business: Invasion of the Neighbourhood Clones It's arrived, dear readers! Armageddon. The apocalypse. The actual, bona-fide, end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it. Do you ask why? Well, unless you've been living under a rock…
Swarms of Immigrants Flood British Sandcastle Market! In a gripping revelation comparable to the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, we find ourselves facing a national threat of such bewildering…
