Reform UK Councillor Slams Woke Pigeons for Not Saluting the Flag

A Reform UK councillor has launched a blistering attack on pigeons in Bradford city centre, accusing them of being “woke” and “refusing to show respect to the Union Jack.”

“Every morning I stand at the flagpole outside Greggs and raise the Union Flag, and not once have these pigeons saluted it. Not a single wing. It’s a disgrace,” said Councillor Barry Croft, 58, who represents the fictional district of “Properton-on-Rage.”

In a now-deleted Facebook Live, Croft described the birds as “agents of cultural decay” and proposed a new policy to “reintroduce respect training for all urban wildlife.”

“Patriotic Animals Only”

Croft’s Patriotic Pigeon Pledge includes:

Banning birds that don’t coo in English
Installing speakers that play Rule Britannia at bus stops
Training council cats to monitor for unpatriotic fluttering

“It’s not about race. It’s about values. British birds should be proud to be British. These pigeons? They’re basically avian Remainers,” Croft added.

Reform UK Supporters React

The comments section of Reform UK’s unofficial Telegram channel was mixed:

“Finally someone talking sense. I’ve seen sparrows looking leftist for years.” – @ProperGaz88

“This is what happens when you let the EU control bird seed.” – @NigelFan999

“Woke birds = Woke Britain. Deport the doves.” – @MakeAlbionGreat

Critics Say It’s a Wind-Up

Several ornithologists, pigeons, and satirists have spoken out.

“This is clearly satire,” said Professor Linda Shrike of the Royal Bird Trust. “We’ve never received a single report of a politically active pigeon — although one magpie did once nick a Union Jack off a pub.”