Bloody Immigrants: They're Postered On My Cornflakes Oh, the horror! The absolute, unalloyed terror! You'd be hard-pressed, dear readers, to find a greater menace to the quaint, cucumber sandwich-loving, blissful…
"Warzone Britain: Halal Hamburgers Invading our Pubs!" To those with soil-firmly-under-fingernails, stout throbbing British hearts, and a patriotic dread of any cuisine without gravy slathered on it, lend me your…
Shattering: Halal Poultry Invading Every Chippy Hold onto your cod and chips, ladies and gentlemen, it's about to get spicy! Yes, you heard that right! The hotly-debated topic of halal…
Britain Braces for Islamic Invasion of Good Manners Ladies and gentlemen, start your panic engines. Britain, that legendary land of perpetual rain, overcooked roast, and questionable dental hygiene, is under…
UK's Extra-Sharp Halal Meat: Satire War Declared It's official, folks! The UK has flattened the curve - but not on pandemic cases or economic recession. No, it's the grand scheme…
"Hordes of Hummus-Lovers Threaten British Way of Life!" Apocalyptic scenes are becoming the norm in the damp, mild-mannered heart of Britain - with nary a fish and chip shop or…
UK Immigration: The Imminent Falafel Invasion! My dear, truly British, sausage-roll-loving friends, wake up to the earth-quaking truth! Our beloved Brexit Britain is on the brink of an existential threat…
Brits Beware of The Islamic Infiltration: Revealed! While the rest of us common folk are quietly tending to our cups of tea and our gardens of roses, an invasion, sinister…
Flying Carpet Migrants Cause Levitation Anxiety! In alarming news that will leave your monocle popping out in dismay, a fresh wave of terror is sweeping across the fear-addled minds of…
"Help! There's a Halal Sausage Roll in My Sight!" The UK is in crisis. My local bakery has just started offering halal sausage rolls, and I'm boycotting the bready-bastion of…